This is a photo of me and my very best friend Mr. Met. I know you might assume it was taken at a baseball game because he has a baseball head, but it wasn’t. It was at a wedding we went to together because we are very best friends. (I have many baseball-headed friend like Dasher Hatfield.)
Mr. Met recently got in trouble for giving someone the finger at a baseball game, but I just don’t believe it because he is my very best friend and has never struck me as a guy who would do that kind of thing. Also he only has four fingers on each hand because of wood shop accident in middle school (we went to middle school together and that’s when we became best friends), so it’s impossible for any of them to be in the middle.
You might be thinking, “But Glen, even if this isn’t just a dumb premise for a comedy piece and you really are very best friends with Mr. Met, you have to know that it’s just a costume that anyone can put on, right? Maybe your friend Mr. Met is different than the Mr. Met accused of flipping someone the bird?”
To that I say, no. As far as I am aware Mr. Met is just one guy and his head is really a giant baseball and we are best friends and I can’t imagine the circumstances under which my very best friend would do such a bad rude thing.
So to anyone accusing my very best friend of being so crass as to raise a middle finger at them during a sporting match I say:
(Mr. Rogers is not my friend, but he is my neighbor.)