Quarantined Man Considers Misguided Beard and Hairstyle Choices

Quarantined comedy writer Glen Tickle is about two days from busting out some clippers and making some bold, albeit misguided choices about his hair and beard.

Tickle has been quarantined for nearly three weeks at which point he was already a few weeks overdue for a trim.

“Maybe I’ll just shave it all? Clean face. Bald head. Then just kinda see what happens?” Tickle said staring wistfully into the middle distance.

Tickle has worn a beard since he could first grow one in his late twenties when he grew it to stop getting carded for rated R movies. He keeps it at now at the age of 36, mainly out of fear of what’s underneath. Is the fresh-faced bedimpled boy the beard was grown to hide gone forever—replaced with a nearly middle-aged father of two? If he doesn’t shave he’ll never have to know.

And yet, after nearly a month of staying home, away from performances and people besides his wife and children, he can’t help but wonder. What if?

It would all be so easy.