Everybody poops, but unless you are or have a child of potty training age it can be easy to forget that pooping without making a huge mess of yourself is a learned skill. Thankfully, kid’s TV has long been there to help parents explain things to their lil’ poopers through song.
Here are some of the best and weirdest songs that try to teach kids about going to the bathroom. They’re in no real order because they’re all #1 (and #2) in our heart.
OK Toilet Bowl
This one’s not strictly from a children’s show, but it’s from former Blue Clues host Steve Burns‘ kids album Foreverywhere so we’re counting it. It’s also bananas and includes the line “I’m proud of the poop that I made.”
When You Have to Go Potty STOP and Go Right Away
In this episode Daniel and his friends all learn to drop what they’re doing when they have to drop a deuce. As with most Daniel Tiger songs, this one’s legitimately catchy and tries to give parents a quick thing they can sing to their kids to summarize the lesson. Unfortunately, my daughter flips out whenever I try to sing this to her, but individual results may vary.
This one is a highlight from an entire straight-to-dvd release Elmo’s Potty Time. The video runs a near-feature-length 48 minutes, and even has a DVD ROM feature that lets parents print out a “Potty Certificate” when your kid finally masters the thrown.
The Potty Chair
You know those Charmin commercial with the bears who pretty much do nothing but poop and talk about wiping? Imagine if they sang about it instead and you get this club banger from Bear in the Big Blue House.
Every Dinosaur Poops
I know I said these weren’t in any order, but this is #1 with a bullet because I have to listen to it every time I take my daughter anywhere in the car because it’s on her favorite album, Jurassic Jams which collects the best music from Dinosaur Train. The music on that show is overall pretty solid, but this song includes one of the best lyrics in any kid’s song ever:
For every critter,
for every species
the food we don’t use
turns to feces
The episode itself gets extra credit for not only showing CGI dinosaur poop, but showing entire mountains of it.
In the words of the good doctor Ian Malcolm,
(Thanks to everyone who suggested titles to include on this list.)