My Daughter Has Cooler Toothpaste Than I Do and I’m Jealous

My daughter has super dope Batman toothpaste. It’s purple and it tastes like fruit punch. The junk on the right is my toothpaste. It has zero superheroes and tastes like what urinal cakes probably taste like. The Batman toothpaste is “just for children” and “Glen you’re an adult” and “Glen your teeth hurt when you eat ice cream”

Sure, one solution to that problem would be to stop eating ice cream, but come on.

Batman is my favorite superhero, and I bet he’d want to protect my teeth. Probably mostly from crime, but also from sensitivity and whatever the hell this is: